Day Eighteen - Regrets

I hate to say that I have regrets. I wouldn't be the person that I am today if I didn't make mistakes in my life. There are a couple of things I wish I could redo, and we'll go with that.

When I moved to California after high school, I was going for one reason - a boy. I was stupid, thought I was in love with the greatest guy, blah blah. I made quite a few mistakes while I was there, and to this day, they haunt me. First of all, what kind of 18 year old girl just uproots her entire life and moves across the country for a guy? Especially a guy that she only knew for a few months. Throw in the fact that once I got to California, we still lived quite a ways apart. I didn't have a driver's license, let alone a car, so he always had to come to me. I still maintain to this day that the no driver's license was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Anyways, as if I hadn't done enough damage, it was pretty inevitable that going to college in CA was not an option for me. I had the money that I had earned by doing well on the MEAP testing in high school, but I only got $1,000 since I was going to school out of state (compared to the $2,500 kids that stayed in Michigan got). Well, I don't know if you know, but the cost of 1 class at a community college (if you were an out of state resident) was about a third of my scholarship money. I was taking 2 classes and bought books for both of them and spent all my money. After the one and only semester I attended was over, it was clear that I would not be going back, simply because I couldn't afford it. The part-time job I was working at a restaurant in the mall was not going to cover it.

Needless to say, I haven't been back to school since. That is the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I could have a degree right now, but instead, I don't. Getting back to school now is going to be a little bit challenging, seeing that I have to arrange my classes around a schedule that would work best for everyone. I don't want to have to rely on Josh's mom for childcare, but I don't really have any other options. At this point, it is more about figuring out what I want to do with my life, then going from there. I don't want to go to school for nothing, you know?

Wow, that got long. Like I said, I don't really regret any of those things, just wish I could do it all over again. Oh well, I guess it's true - life is what happens when you are busy making plans.