McFatty Monday - week one

Well, the time has finally come. I am more than ready to lose these 50+ pounds I have been dragging along with me for the past couple of years. I struggled for the past couple of days trying to decide just how honest I want to be. To say that I am ashamed of myself for getting to where I am is an understatement. I am 24 years old and I have 55 pounds to lose. It seems unreal. Are you asking yourself "well, how did she get there?" Well, let me tell you!

All throughout high school, I was in pretty good shape. I wouldn't ever say I was skinny, but I didn't call myself fat either. I fit comfortably into a size 11 pant and a size 29 in my favorite jeans (Silver brand). My shirts were usually a size large, but that is because I have quite a bit up top, if you know what I mean. Graduation came, and the next couple of years passed by without noticing any change in my body. Then 2006 rolled around.

Josh and I started dating in November of 2005. Things between us got pretty serious really fast. This is good, seeing that in the spring of 2006, my parents told me that my mom had accepted a job and would be moving across the country to Arizona after my brother graduated. I was conflicted. Did I stay with my parents, who I had known for 20 years and move across the country, or did I take a chance with a newer relationship that wasn't guaranteed to last? Needless to say, I stayed in Michigan with Josh and haven't looked back. Let's fast forward a couple of months. Of course, I am sad that my parents aren't around anymore. Yes, I talked to them on the phone pretty frequently, but that just isn't the same. I started into a depression. I ate all the time, that was the only way I felt better. One day, I started to notice that the food was catching up with me. My favorite jeans started to feel tighter. I chalked it up to the fact that I had been drying them in the dryer after I washed them instead of hanging them up to dry. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. It all happened so fast. One day, I weighed 155-160 pounds. I loved that. In a matter of a couple of months, I was above 200. I couldn't believe it. But did I do anything about it? Absolutely not, not at first, anyways.

Now I can't remember exactly when I started it, but after our wedding (what do you know? We made it last!), I knew I needed to do something. I started up on Weight Watchers, and it also helped that I had a job that required me to be on my feet at least 7 1/2 hours a day. I know that I lost about 20 pounds, and then started to give up when the weight wasn't coming off as easily. Soon after my meltdown, I discovered that I was pregnant. I started off that pregnancy somewhere around 180 pounds. By the time the 40 weeks had passed, I was back up into the 200s, only this time, I had hit the 220s. After Cameron was born and the weight started coming off, I plateaued once again and sat (un)comfortably in the low 200s for the next year. A couple of weeks after Cameron's first birthday, I learned that I was once again pregnant. I had my first doctor's appointment in December, where the nurse not so kindly told me that I needed to be tested for Gestational Diabetes (at 8 weeks?!) because I was on the heavy side. That is when I realized that I really need to do something.

The beginning of the pregnancy was awful. I always felt nauseous and hardly ever ate, and that resulted in me losing 10 pounds. Once I started to feel better though, the weight came right back on. By the time those 40 weeks were over, I was up about 35 pounds, so somewhere around 240. I feel sick typing that. Well, Hannah is now almost 4 weeks old, and I am proud to say that I have already ditched 30 of those pounds I gained while pregnant.

I am starting this journey at a weight of 210 pounds. In my over-critical opinion of myself, that is just terrible. I never should have let myself get here. I have learned a lot since the summer of 2006, number 1 lesson being that I don't need to stuff my face to feel better. There are healthier things to do. I am hoping to end this journey at a weight of 155-160 pounds. So that is 50-55 pounds I need to lose. I am being pretty realistic and assuming that I will lose 2 pounds a week between my diet and the exercise I will be doing as soon as I get the clear from my OB. I am giving myself a goal of 30 weeks, which ends up being March 7th. Lose 55 pounds by March 7th. Wouldn't that be a fantastic birthday gift to myself to feel better again? I am thinking yes.

bad, bad blogger

I'm sure I can be forgiven, but finding the time to blog just doesn't come as easily as it used to. I (foolishly) thought that adding one more kid to the mix wouldn't be so difficult. Boy, was I mistaken. It has been quite challenging so far. Cameron is cutting two of his eye teeth and has been a nightmare. I am hoping that once the teeth finally come through he will be in a better mood. Hannah is a typical newborn - eat, poop, sleep. Repeat x 8. I love the cuddle time with her though. I am sure that once both of these kids are on some kind of schedule (that is the same), things will be worlds better. I can usually get them both to nap at the same time in the morning, but the afternoon is a different story. Cameron will sleep from 2:30-4:30, and Hannah will not. She will fuss and just want to be held until 4, and then finally falls asleep. By the time 4 rolls around, I am so ready for a nap, and I take the half an hour I get.

My recovery has been really great. I am feeling really good, just the occasional twinge of pain. My biggest issue has come with drying up my breast milk, but I won't go into too much detail about that. I decided to quit using the breast pump when I realized that sitting down for 20 minutes and pumping, then taking another 20 minutes to feed a bottle to Hannah all while Cameron is running around like a crazy person and Hannah starts crying every 3 hours is just not realistic (for me at least).

I am starting up a new series with this blog tomorrow, and I am SO excited about it.




There it is, folks. I am starting up a SERIOUS diet tomorrow. I still have about 5 pounds to lose to be back to my pre-pregnant with Hannah weight, and another 25 after that to be where I was before I got pregnant with Cameron. I would like to lose another 25 on top of that, so I have about 55 pounds to lose. It hurts me to type that, but I will write up a nice, long post about how I got to where I am and where I want to be tomorrow.

The return to blogging,

Since I have a tiny bit of quiet time while Hannah naps in her swing and Cameron entertains himself with a pair of my shoes, I thought I would finally do a blog update!

We have had a pretty smooth transition into a family of four. I'm sure it helps that Josh has been off of work since the day Hannah was born, so I haven't had my taste of reality just yet. The longest I have been alone with both kids was for about 2 hours yesterday, and in that time, Cameron was taking a nap and Hannah was pretty relaxed. I'm sure when Monday rolls around and Josh is back at work, I will be singing a different tune.

Cameron has adjusted really well to having a little sister. He loves to look at her and tries to feed her a bottle. Yesterday, he stood by her swing and put the pacifier in her mouth every time she spit it out. And he did it so patiently. The look on his face when he finally gets it back in is full of pride. He really is a great big brother.

Here he is trying to feed her a bottle.

And trying to put her pacifier in her mouth.

Now, there is definitely a lot of jealousy when it comes to his little sister. Anyone can hold her, but when she is being held, he needs to be held too. He will coming running at us with his arms wide open saying "need! need!" He usually doesn't like it when Josh holds Hannah, either. He has become a daddy's boy since Hannah was born. I know Josh loves it too.

Let's talk about sleep. The girl will sleep alllllll day long, but once 10 at night rolls around, she is wide awake. It usually takes us until at least midnight to get her back to sleep, if not later. The other night, I was up until 12:45 feeding her, holding her, trying to sing to her. Eventually, I sat in front of the computer with her in my arms and she fell asleep. The bright lights from the computer screen had me wide awake, but she was out. That's all that matters. She wound up sleeping for 5 hours straight, which is probably a no-no for a week old baby, but it hasn't happened again since.

How about an update on me? I have been feeling great for the past couple of days. Looks like the pains have finally starting subsiding. I haven't taken any pain pills in a couple of days, and the last time I did, it was because I had a killer headache that just wouldn't go away. Motrin 600 certainly took care of it! I have been lifting Cameron in and out of his bed, and putting Hannah and her carseat in and out of the car. I haven't taken it as easy as I probably should have, but thinking I wouldn't do either of those things is pretty ridiculous. How can you say no when a precious little boy looks up at you with his arms wide open, wanting you to hold him? As far as the baby weight goes, I am about 6 pounds away from what I weighed before I got pregnant. Of course, my body is warped and is definitely not looking the same as it did at that point, but I have plans for that. As soon as I get the okay from my OB, I am joining a local gym and starting back up on Weight Watchers. Look out for those posts, I am really excited about this! I have about 50 pounds to lose once I get rid of the baby weight, and I know I can do it. 

I laid Hannah on our bed this afternoon and took a couple of pictures of her. Here are the latest!

Hannah Elise

I know I don't have too many readers, but I want to document Hannah's birth for those that are curious, and for myself as well.

Thursday, July 15th, I was checked into the triage unit at the hospital. We were told to arrive at 7:30. We pulled into the parking garage at 7:20 and the nerves finally hit me. After checking in, I was instructed to put on a gown and go to the bathroom to provide a urine sample. That took all of 10 minutes. Next, the nurse came in and hooked me up to the monitors. I was having small, painless contractions. She said it was normal since I hadn't had anything to drink since 9:30 the night before. She asked me what seemed like a million questions about my health history and then left the room. The surgery was supposed to start at 9:30. Around 8:30, the nurse came back and attempted to put my IV in. She tried twice in my left arm, and both times she lost the vein and wound up fishing for it for 5 minutes each time. She didn't want to keep poking me for nothing, so she left to find reinforcements. She brought back another nurse who immediately got a vein in my hand. That was pretty painful.

By 9:30, we were still waiting for my doctor. She showed up around 9:45 and we were off to the operating room. They had me sit up on the operating table to put my spinal in. That was pretty painful as well. It seemed to be that 3 was my unlucky number that day, because that is how many times they tried to put the spinal in before it was successful. It is still so crazy to me how weird it feels when you go numb from your waist down. After the doctor started poking me and asked if I could feel it, the catheter went in and the doctor started the surgery. At one point in the very beginning of the surgery, I got really nauseous. I told the anesthesiologist and she put a little tub next to my face just in time to catch the vomit I couldn't control. I think I puked twice and felt better almost instantly. The anesthesiologist said I got sick because my blood pressure dropped pretty significantly. I am pretty sure the doctor was already cutting when Josh was finally let in the OR. After tons and pulling and pushing from the doctors, Hannah was finally born at 10:23 am. The anesthesiologist's partner predicted what he thought she weighed. "8 pounds 13 ounces!" I didn't believe him for a second.

They took her to the heated baby table and started cleaning her up. I thought she was beautiful. I instantly had visions of newborn Cameron and thought she looked so much like him. They got her all cleaned up and shouted her weight out for the rest of the room. 9 pounds 4.8 ounces. I couldn't believe it. I thought little girls were supposed to weigh less than little boys! She weighed a full pound and 3 ounces more than her brother. Later, in recovery, I learned she was 21 inches long and had a head circumference of 16 inches. She is a big girl.

Recovery in the hospital went great. Cameron and Hannah's first meeting was so special. He just stared at her. The first time we tried to let him hold her, he pushed her away, so we haven't tried again. She lost about half a pound in the hospital, which is a normal amount according to nurses and the pediatrician. She looked great, and her bilirubin levels were low, so no jaundice for our little girl! We were discharged Sunday morning and were so excited to finally go home. Cameron came home from his grandma and grandpa's that afternoon, and we have greatly enjoyed being home as a family.

My mom left to go home this morning. I am terrible at goodbyes, so of course, it was very hard for me to see her leave. Hopefully we won't go a year in between visits again. Christmas in Michigan is beautiful mom! Come back!

This morning, Josh and I took both of the kids to the pediatrician. Hannah had to have her newborn physical, and the doctor said she looks great. Still no jaundice, and she is in the 90th percentile for her weight. Such a big girl. Cameron has a little bit of a fever, so we took him just to be sure. She said his ears look great, which is good news. There seems to be a little bit of a bug going around, and he must have caught it. His throat was red, and she said he should be feeling better in a couple of days. Poor guy. He looks so miserable.

I will leave you with a few pictures of our girl and our boy. Our kids. That is so crazy to say.

here I am in triage, just before the IV was put in. ready to meet baby!

one of the first pictures of Hannah. Testing out her lungs.

big brother and little sister meet for the first time.

why is it crying?

finally leaving the hospital.

big brother watching his sissy take a nap. he's becoming very protective over her.

0 months old.

pretty girl with her eyes wide open.

She's here!

Hannah Elise Heystek was born on July 15th, 2010 at 10:23 am. She surprised us all by weighing in at 9 pounds 4.8 ounces and measured 21 inches long. She is gorgeous and healthy and has completed our family.

I will post again with her birth story once everything settles down a little bit.

Today is the day!

Well, the day has finally come. We have been waiting for what seems like forever, and now in just an hour and a half, I will be checked into the hospital and waiting to have a baby. This just seems surreal.

Last night was terrible. My mom took Cameron to her sister's house for the night so we could get everything ready at the house. I knew I would get emotional, especially since I cried like a baby when I left the house to have Cameron and worried about the dog. But man, did I cry. I feel so conflicted for my sweet little boy. He will be shuttled back and forth between grandmas today through Saturday, and when he does get to see Josh and me, he will have a pesky little sister to 'compete' with. He just doesn't know how much his life is going to change. But we will manage. He will be much happier with the situation when he sees the Woody toy and new book his sister bought for him. =)

So now I wait for the dryer to be done. Josh's brother will stay at our house with Buffy while we are in the hospital, and we will have clean bedsheets to come home to. I guess that is the beauty of not being able to sleep until the alarm goes off. Josh will be in the shower shortly, and I will put on some makeup so I can feel normal this time around. Life is certainly going to be different 4 hours from now, but I am excited to see where it takes us.

Nerves.

Last night, my dad sent me a text message. "Are you excited? Scared?"

I had to think about it for a second. It does not seem possible that I am only 2 days away from meeting my little girl. It seems like it was just yesterday that I took a test on a whim and found myself face to face with a positive result. It seems like yesterday that I was camped out on the couch for what felt like a month while Cameron played around me. And it literally feels like yesterday that we had our big ultrasound and found out that we were going to be having a daughter. Time has seriously flown by.

To say that I am excited is an understatement. I am thrilled that I am being blessed with another baby. I am exceptionally nervous that something is going to happen during delivery like with Cameron, but have been doing my best to keep that in the back of my mind. Hopefully with this being a planned delivery, and the fact that I have not had any signs of labor coming, everything will be perfect with Hannah when she is born. That really is the only thing I am scared of. Well, that, and the IV. It seems so silly that I am having surgery, and the thing I am most afraid of is a needle in my arm. The spinal block doesn't scare me. They don't really show you that needle. As long as the surgery goes well with no complications, and I can feel my legs when the anesthesia wears off, I will be just fine!

I have been keeping myself busy for the past couple of days. Yesterday, Cameron and I went to the mall with Josh's mom to waste some time. Mission accomplished. We left as soon as he woke up from his nap, and stayed gone until he was ready for another one. Today I am doing lots of laundry. I have waited until the last possible second to wash the mountain of clothes that were piling up on the basement floor. This afternoon, I will vacuum the floors and dust all the furniture. And of course, clean the bathroom. Josh will mow the lawn when he gets home from work, and we will have dinner. I will leave the house around 9:15 to go pick my mom up from the airport.

Tomorrow will be spent with my mom. I haven't seen her in a year. It seems so crazy that there was that much time spent between seeing each other. We literally talk to each other on the phone at least once a day. The days that we don't talk are weird. I love talking to her. Anyway, we will be having breakfast at the Cracker Barrel, since I can't get Josh to go there, followed by some shopping. The best part of the day? Pedicures sometime after Josh gets out of work. It was pretty important to me to look better when Hannah is born than when Cameron was born. I was in labor for many hours before Cameron was born, and looked terrible. My eyebrows should have been waxed before he was born though. The pictures of us in the hospital are atrocious. My eyebrows looked like caterpillars and Josh looked like a long lost member of the Beatles. This time we are prepared.