McFatty Monday - week one

Well, the time has finally come. I am more than ready to lose these 50+ pounds I have been dragging along with me for the past couple of years. I struggled for the past couple of days trying to decide just how honest I want to be. To say that I am ashamed of myself for getting to where I am is an understatement. I am 24 years old and I have 55 pounds to lose. It seems unreal. Are you asking yourself "well, how did she get there?" Well, let me tell you!

All throughout high school, I was in pretty good shape. I wouldn't ever say I was skinny, but I didn't call myself fat either. I fit comfortably into a size 11 pant and a size 29 in my favorite jeans (Silver brand). My shirts were usually a size large, but that is because I have quite a bit up top, if you know what I mean. Graduation came, and the next couple of years passed by without noticing any change in my body. Then 2006 rolled around.

Josh and I started dating in November of 2005. Things between us got pretty serious really fast. This is good, seeing that in the spring of 2006, my parents told me that my mom had accepted a job and would be moving across the country to Arizona after my brother graduated. I was conflicted. Did I stay with my parents, who I had known for 20 years and move across the country, or did I take a chance with a newer relationship that wasn't guaranteed to last? Needless to say, I stayed in Michigan with Josh and haven't looked back. Let's fast forward a couple of months. Of course, I am sad that my parents aren't around anymore. Yes, I talked to them on the phone pretty frequently, but that just isn't the same. I started into a depression. I ate all the time, that was the only way I felt better. One day, I started to notice that the food was catching up with me. My favorite jeans started to feel tighter. I chalked it up to the fact that I had been drying them in the dryer after I washed them instead of hanging them up to dry. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. It all happened so fast. One day, I weighed 155-160 pounds. I loved that. In a matter of a couple of months, I was above 200. I couldn't believe it. But did I do anything about it? Absolutely not, not at first, anyways.

Now I can't remember exactly when I started it, but after our wedding (what do you know? We made it last!), I knew I needed to do something. I started up on Weight Watchers, and it also helped that I had a job that required me to be on my feet at least 7 1/2 hours a day. I know that I lost about 20 pounds, and then started to give up when the weight wasn't coming off as easily. Soon after my meltdown, I discovered that I was pregnant. I started off that pregnancy somewhere around 180 pounds. By the time the 40 weeks had passed, I was back up into the 200s, only this time, I had hit the 220s. After Cameron was born and the weight started coming off, I plateaued once again and sat (un)comfortably in the low 200s for the next year. A couple of weeks after Cameron's first birthday, I learned that I was once again pregnant. I had my first doctor's appointment in December, where the nurse not so kindly told me that I needed to be tested for Gestational Diabetes (at 8 weeks?!) because I was on the heavy side. That is when I realized that I really need to do something.

The beginning of the pregnancy was awful. I always felt nauseous and hardly ever ate, and that resulted in me losing 10 pounds. Once I started to feel better though, the weight came right back on. By the time those 40 weeks were over, I was up about 35 pounds, so somewhere around 240. I feel sick typing that. Well, Hannah is now almost 4 weeks old, and I am proud to say that I have already ditched 30 of those pounds I gained while pregnant.

I am starting this journey at a weight of 210 pounds. In my over-critical opinion of myself, that is just terrible. I never should have let myself get here. I have learned a lot since the summer of 2006, number 1 lesson being that I don't need to stuff my face to feel better. There are healthier things to do. I am hoping to end this journey at a weight of 155-160 pounds. So that is 50-55 pounds I need to lose. I am being pretty realistic and assuming that I will lose 2 pounds a week between my diet and the exercise I will be doing as soon as I get the clear from my OB. I am giving myself a goal of 30 weeks, which ends up being March 7th. Lose 55 pounds by March 7th. Wouldn't that be a fantastic birthday gift to myself to feel better again? I am thinking yes.