Hannah the artist.

Rainy days are no fun. Today is no exception. So, while mom was busy making a grocery list and clipping coupons, little sister decided to take it upon herself to decorate the house (and make herself look like a lalaloopsy doll). Sigh.

Thank God for magic erasers. And baths.

August 1st!

Ahh, August. I keep thinking about early May. I had just wrapped up yet another semester at college, Cameron was weeks away from preschool graduation, ah. I thought I had time. Somehow, 3 months have flown by and we are both getting ready to head back to school in a little more than a month. There are some seriously mixed emotions going on around here.

Remember back to school time when you were younger? Yeah, it looked a lot like this.

It's still quite a bit like that for me, as I get ready for my 5th (gah) semester in college. I struggle to remind myself that I am 2 semesters away from graduating with an associates (yeah, just an associates - not a huge deal) and push myself to finish because I know I can.

Anyway, when it comes to Cameron going to school, I can now understand why my parents always loved this time of year. I recently saw this picture and I laughed out loud. Literally. This is so absolutely perfect it's not even funny. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my kids and being able to be at home with them every day is awesome, but dang. Cameron learned to get into a routine at school, and I think that being home without it has got him all flustered. Being in school is really good for him and I am anxious for him to get back.

While I absolutely loathed back to school time when I was younger, my absolute favorite part was going shopping for school stuff. New backpacks? Binders? The best pens? Yup. Best part of school, hands down. It is kind of a sickness. When they start rolling the supplies out at Target in June, I get excited. The smell of crayons, the new stuff they come out with, all of it. Love. Butttt, we have a problem. We won't know who Cameron's teacher is until about a week before school starts, and along the same lines, we haven't received a list yet. Do you know me? I am a planner. I want to know what I need with a lot of notice and I want to start buying things asap. I found a list at Target that I thought was Cameron's, but no. Every single website (except his school's) has been updated with lists and they are all different. Of course. So until we get the definite list, we are buying random things that we assume will be needed.

We have been checking out clothes and shoes and trying to decide what he wants to wear at big boy school. The things I have loved so far include..

 

jeans / twill pants

  

hoodie / 'handsome' shirt / tshirt

 

mini chucks

So, the countdown is on! 

Hannah turns 3!

Hard to believe it, but it's true. This girl is growing up so fast and I can hardly stand it.

This post doesn't have a fun name.

It's safe to say that I am in a funk. The last month has been kind of a blur, with so much going on - but at the same time, feeling stuck in slow motion. I wrapped up my fourth semester (2 to go!) and am so relieved to be done for a couple of months. But, at the same time, kind of worried about what will go on this summer. Mainly because my kids are crazy. They fight over the craziest things (OMG! Bubba looked at me!) like all kids do, but since I am in a funk right now, it brings me down even more. These are the kinds of days we've been having..

Cameron is still in preschool, that will wrap up on May 22nd. He will have a small graduation ceremony and we will be done with it. He had kindergarten screening 2 weeks ago, and it has been decided that he will go to Young 5s in the fall. Same elementary school as the kindergarten, just a different program for now. I had a conference with his preschool teacher, and the fact that he is younger (by a year in some cases) than all of his classmates is evident. 'He isn't behind, he's just young.' He has a few things to work on, writing his name, coloring, and cutting to be specific, but he is ready to move on to bigger things in the fall. Much like the kindergarten program, Young 5s is an all day thing, meaning he will be gone from a little after 8 in the morning until about 3:30 in the afternoon. It will be strange to be responsible for only Hannah during that time!

Cameron has also recently started t-ball. He hasn't had his first game yet (that's on Saturday!), but he seems to enjoy it so far. Of course, the practices have been more for socializing and not so much learning, so daddy has had to spend some time teaching the basics to him. It is cute to see him out there learning how to play though.

There really isn't much new happening in the world of Hannah. She is deep into the terrible twos, having random breakdowns because things don't go her way, for instance, she doesn't get her arm in her sleeve on the first try? Hysterics. Same goes for putting her shoes on and putting the diaper on her baby doll. There are many days spent with motrin nearby. She got her birthday presents from Grammy early, accessories for her Bitty Baby Petey.

I think it's safe to say she loves that baby. 

Life Changes.

I made this one of my New Years Resolutions in December, but I am now finally back on the diet bandwagon. It's pretty official, thanks to this email:

I am the kind of person who HATES wasting money. I have struggled internally for the past few weeks trying to decide if I should spend the money to join Weight Watchers again. I have had incredible success in the past, but the thought of spending $60 at once makes me cringe. And since I am the kind of person that hates to waste money, I know that by signing up for this and spending that $60, I will stick to it. If I don't, it will make me insane.

The same goes with a gym membership. I was lucky enough to have a membership at the YMCA a year ago that my mom generously paid for, but I eventually stopped going. I was bored of the whole concept and decided that a cheeseburger and a coke sounded much more appealing than an hour at the gym. A few months later, I joined a different gym, one that was super cheap, but again, issues. It was in an inconvenient location, they didn't offer childcare, etc. So I quit going there too. Ugh. This is becoming a pattern now. Well, as of last Thursday, I am once again a member of the local YMCA. It is going to be pretty expensive to go there, but the perks of being able to go whenever I want and having someone available there to watch my kids (for $1 each time. Yes, just $1. For 2 kids. For 2 hours.) make it so very worth it.

So come along, once again, on my never ending weight loss experience. It has been about 2.5 years since I started this whole thing, and I am embarrassed to say that I have ridden a rollercoaster this entire time, really great highs (low numbers on the scale) and scary dips back to my old habits. But this time? I'm holding myself accountable and finally getting healthy. If not for me, definitely for my family. I want nothing more than to be around and with them for a long time. These are just the first steps.

It's been awhile.

I'm still here! I don't know what my problem is, but good grief. Life has gotten busy, guys!

Things are all pretty much the same around here.

Cameron is about 2 months away from graduating from preschool. His school year has flown by and if you ask me, he has certainly benefited from going to preschool. He had a round of testing in December and the teacher is doing it again right now, so we will be able to tell based on that how much he has improved throughout the school year. Speaking of school, on Tuesday night, Josh and I went to a parent meeting at his elementary school. You read that right, ELEMENTARY school. It doesn't seem possible that this little guy is going to be a full-day student in the fall, but he is. :tears: He will be tested by the school in April to determine whether he will be going to young 5s or kindergarten, but either way, he will spend 5 full days a week at school. It will be an adjustment for me and Hannah, but it is very exciting!

Hannah could technically go to preschool in the fall, but she would have to be potty trained, and since I am mother of the year, I can admit that she is not potty trained yet. She will be 3 in July and has had major successes in this area, but with everything else going on in daily life (my school, Cameron's school, SO MUCH DRIVING), we haven't had time. This summer, though, will be the end of diapers in our household. Woot! This girl is a complete chatterbox and talks ALL THE TIME. Somedays, it gets to be so much that I have to ask her to please whisper or go talk in another room. She is a naughty little thing, always getting into everything she knows she's not supposed to. She's lucky she's so cute.

In other news, I celebrated my 27th birthday this week. It depresses me that the number on the end of that 20 is getting so high, lol. I don't want to turn 30! I remember being 18 and feeling like 30 was so far away, and then I blinked and now I'm so close. I'm working really hard to do good things with my life, so I can be proud of who I am and what I've done. One day at a time, I suppose! I'm still in school, with 2 semesters remaining until I get an associates degree. I'm taking it one semester at a time, trying not to overwhelm myself with what lies ahead. It will be worth it in the end, which is about a year from now. Can't complain!

Until next time!

New Years Resolutions

I have made New Years Resolutions in the past, but never really stuck to them. Life gets in the way, or I just became lazy and decided that my resolutions were stupid. Well, in an effort to improve myself, I am going to list a few of my resolutions and hope I can stick to them.

1) It's something I have struggled with for about 7 years, but I want to get myself down to a healthy weight again. I've had some really great stretches, getting myself within 15 pounds of my goal weight, and then awful setbacks where I gain all the weight back again. I've done Weight Watchers, and had great success, but when money is tight, that is not something that is high on the spending priority list.

Me at my largest, just before Hannah was born.

Me in summer of 2005, in the bright pink shirt.

Most recent picture of me. Christmas 2012.

My friend has been working on a plan to take baby steps towards a realistic goal, and I think I am going to do the same. If we go slowly, there is less room for failure. 

2) Become a better parent. I will admit it, I am not the best mother in the world. My kids, like every other, are flawed. There are many more bad days than there are good (between the fighting, hitting, screaming, crying, etc.), but they are kids. I sometimes have a hard time remembering that. There will be messes, there will be struggles. These are things I need to remember. 2 and 4 year olds do not realize that grabbing something the wrong way will probably cause a ginormous mess. Or that pouring their own glass of milk while mom is in the shower is probably not the best idea. What I need to realize is that messes can be cleaned up. Being hard on your kids for stupid reasons is not a good way to build a relationship. I do not want to be the kind of parent that has a terrible relationship with their children. I do not want them to fear me. I do not want them to go through their teenage years hating me, counting down the days until they get to leave my house. Again, this will probably involve baby steps. 

3) Continue my education. I have completed 3 semesters, and have 3 to go, and am so far thrilled with my progress. 13 classes down, and all but one completed with a 4.0 (that pesky 3.5 will haunt me forever). It has not been easy, juggling kids, school work, a once a week job, but it will eventually be worth it. It has been exciting for me to prove to myself that if I put my mind to it, I can achieve it. When I was a senior in high school, I didn't care about grades or college. I was more worried about boys and having fun, and picking up my life and moving it across the country. Looking back now, I wish I would have gone to college right away. But when you're 18 years old, you don't always do the right things. 

So, what do you think? Doable? I really hope so. The past few years haven't been stellar, but they haven't been awful either. I am hoping that 2013 rolls in and will be the best year that I've had in awhile. 

Happy New Year to you all!